How short is life really
Table of content:
About
写这篇文章的背景是一个朋友分享了 Reddit 上的一个讨论 To all the older folk (50+), how short is life really? What are some of your biggest regrets?，看到标题时，想起了很多年前看到的 TED「Top five regrets of the dying」的演讲(附录中做了简单介绍)，本来觉得差不多基本都会是那几点抱着可以简单看一看的心态点开了链接，但是被里面的很多故事深深吸引，并看了几乎所有的回复，里面浓缩了很多经验, 人生感悟和人间百态。
对时间快慢的感受，问题的回复中普遍都提到了一点「life speeds up as you age」，随着年龄增长，感觉时间过的越来越快，特别是养孩子的情况下。旅行时，或者在尝试新的事物时，时间会比较慢，但是日常重复规律的生活，会感觉非常快。
普遍提到的 Regrets:
- Didn’t love others enough. Regret not telling people I care for them before they’re gone. Not spending more time with family
- Didn’t push myself to be the best that I could be
- Regret not taking more risks
一些摘录（按照年龄排序）
@chifara 60
I am 60 and absolutely no regrets. It’s a wonderful life. The bad times made me who I am.
@jmsrbrt 60
Not spending more time with family
@Canucklehead_Esq 60
I didn’t believe in myself when I was younger. That I didn’t push myself to be the best that I could be.
@ILoveLouisV 60
I wish I had traveled more when I was younger. I wish I hadn’t spent money on items that weren’t of real value and had saved more instead. I’m trying not to have any regrets going forward because time is precious. I’ve learned to let go of toxic people and surround myself with friends who care about much more than themselves. We are involved in philanthropic efforts, of giving back, of being empathetic.
@sonowthatimhere 58
when I was graduated from college I took a path ‘suggested’ by my father instead of following my passion. But life is good, wisdom well-earned, and death inevitable
@MrExcite 58
Biggest regret is lack of self confidence. It has cost me experiences that I now believe would have led to a better career, more earnings, life changing moments.
@maddie233 57
I wish I had taken more risks and not been held back by fear. I’m working on that now.
The best part of being this age is that I don’t give a shit what others think of me anymore. It’s liberating.
Stay in the moment, be true to yourself, and love, love, love.
@uncle_melon 55
each decade seems to go faster than the previous, which is scary. Regret not taking more risks, telling people I care for them before they’re gone, but am happy with all I’ve done and look forward to the few fast decades ahead.
@Northsidebill1 50
I didnt tell some of the people in my life that I loved then enough. then they were gone, taken by accidents or murder.
@Tsingtao2 51
my only regret is not seeing Pink Floyd live while I had the chance. Life’s short, buy the tickets
@Wildfaery 50
I regret every single time I let my insecurities and depression take over and hold me back from the things and people I love. . Be strong for yourselves.
@eviljason 50
Stay fluid with your politics. Don’t marry yourself to a party or viewpoint. Always take in new information and stay open to changing your stance in light of new information. Trust everyone until given a reason not to. Verbally express your love to others. Take chances but don’t be stupid. Accept that people, including yourself are hypocritical and self-serving and embrace it. Be as charitable as you can be with your time.
@anonymous 31
I figure in life if you’re privileged enough to have a chance to pursue self-actualization you choose between one of two roads:
- competence: you get really good at something (like a career). That gets you a lot of respect and probably an enormous sense of accomplishment.
- diversity of experience
I chose #2 and because of that I’m kind of the perpetual beginner. The hardest part for me is not to beat myself up for not being successful. I’ve acquired so much life from living this way, I think it suits me.
@teyothedefiant 27
Not sure if it would mean anything to you or if you will even end up reading it, but this means so much to me. I am 27, I was a nerdy girl passionate about robotics, tech, computers, engines and such. Everything I could dig deep into. Had amazing parents and was overall so happy, until a group of girls in elementary school started bullying me and beating me to the point of wanting to kill myself. Their treatment managed to convince me that I am worthless and that it is all my fault. I became closed, sad, angry and introverted for years. And deeply, deeply insecure. I started to go to psychologist few years ago, enrolled a master’s degree in a tech field that I like even though it was out of my safe zone and required me to study very hard to fill the gaps due to my non-technical bachelors. I just finished my masters degree with honors, found a job in one of the top IT companies in the country, having amazing talks with my psychologist, rebuilt relationship with my parents and relationship with myself. I managed to find this courage and risk a lot to get what I always dreamed of, and to read that you wished you did it even more gives me the strength to keep pursuing this life even though it may not be the easiest path I could have chosen. Regardless of everything, it is what I dreamed of.
@drunken_man_whore
No one tells you this, but as you get older you experience death. So much death.
Death is part of life. It’s just the last part.
最后
用里面提到的「toilet paper roll effect」来对这篇文章收尾就是：
Life is like toilet paper roll, The closer you get to the end of the roll, you tear off smaller pieces, in hopes you can finish wiping your ass before it’s all gone. Life is one long ass wiping. As in more paper per rotation early in the roll to less paper per rotation late in the roll.
And also exemplifies how shitty it is that life is so short.
用厕纸和人生比喻很诙谐，在一定程度上也很真实。但是本质上我们无法通过听取别人的经验来建立一种原则，原则只能来自于经历，痛苦和反思。
关于头图
拍摄自今日美术馆
附录
Top five regrets of the dying
- I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
- I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
- I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
- I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
- I wish that I had let myself be happier.